In this space I will briefly explain great feats of creativity, after which weaker adults will cower and children will argue with pets. Teens, on the other hand, will ask senior citizens about the possibility that I am available to make a speech at their school for a small fee.
Given the cowering of the adults and animal concerns of the children, teens figure, (and I’m paraphrasing here) “Hey, if we can busy the senior citizens with this surprisingly extensive speech paperwork to land this strange writer man for a speaking gig, we’ll be covered to go try vaping in the old drainage pipe behind the new school.”
Well not so fast, teens … that paperwork is going to keep eeeeeeeeeeeeveryone’s legal people busy for quite some time. So, let me pull up a chair backwards in front of you and talk about the time this old writer interviewed a woman who thought she saw a monkey in her suburban Wisconsin back yard …